A Priest was being honoured with an award at his retirement dinner...

 ...having served the parish for 30 years, and to mark the occasion, a prominent member of the congregation, a U.S. Supreme Court Justice, was asked to give the presentation and make a short speech afterward.  Everyone was excited to hear the Justice’s remarks, however he was delayed in traffic, so the Priest decided to fill in and make a few remarks of his own while they were waiting:

 “I got my first impression of this parish from the very first confession that I heard here, and I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.  The first person who entered my confessional told me that he had burglarized his next-door neighbour’s house, stole 3 TVs, and lied about it to the police when questioned.  He got away with it.

 He stole money from his parents and his employer.  He had an affair with his boss’s wife, had sex with his boss’s 14-year-old daughter, and gave an STD to his sister-in-law.  He was arrested for indecent exposure and has taken illegal drugs.

 I was appalled that any one person could commit so many terrible acts, but as time went on, I saw that my flock here were not all like that, and that I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

 Just as the Priest was finishing his remarks, the Justice arrived, to a standing ovation, as he motioned for the room to quiet down.  He made profuse apologies for his late arrival and immediately began his presentation:

 "I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,” said the Justice.  "In fact, I had the honour of being the very first person to go to him for confession."